Friday, December 21, 2012

Phrases for Ritual #2

As promised in a previous blog, below are the phrases that I repeat each morning as ritual #2 in my morning routine to honor my Master:

This slave is beautiful in face and form

This slave has a great body and will keep it fit to please this slave’s Master

This slave is compliant and obedient in this slave’s submission to her Master

This slave suffers stoically and willingly at her Master’s hand

This slave has given her mind and body to this slave’s chosen Master and Owner

This slave’s Master adores her and loves her to the core

This slave's Master holds this slave's mind, body and heart in His hands and protects her in loving care.

Monday, December 10, 2012

Love Letter

Below is a letter that I wrote to my love and Master to express my deepest feelings for him:
 
Good evening My Dearest Richard,

I have just read over all of the material on my registration page and have reminisced about the wonderful and difficult journey we have endured together. Our life together has not been an easy one, there have been many boulders and twists and turns along the road, but each hurdle has only strengthened our love and devotion to one another.

I have grown so much as a person and a submissive over the last 3 years. You have helped me open up and overcome so much that I would have never been able to overcome had I not met you. You encourage me to reach my full potential, and without your love, support and encouragement, I would not be the woman that I am today. I would most likely be a college drop-out.

Each day that I spend with you only makes me love you more, even though at times you drive me crazy. My every waking moment is consumed with thoughts of you: how to please you, how to manage my life outside of you in order to maximize our time together, how to ensure that you never have any desire to even take a second glace at another woman.

My greatest desire in life is to spend the rest of your life with you, in whatever manner possible. My ultimate fantasy is to one day become your wife and express my love for you in the most physical way possible. I am certain that once I have been in your arms I will never want to be anywhere else.

I face extensive criticism from my family, specifically my siblings, on a regular basis because of our relationship, but it does not matter. The only opinion that matters to me is yours, as long as you are pleased with what we have together, I will be happy.

However, I am not a strong woman Richard, my fears and insecurities are at times all consuming, especially my fear that one day my moodswings will become too much for you, that you'll decide that the bad in me outweighs the good and you will move on to greener pastures. I wish that I weren't plagued with self-doubt and the feeling that I am damaged goods, but I am. I never feel, and have never felt, that I am good enough for you. I feel blessed each and every day to have you, I feel that you are settling with me.

I never imagined that it was possible to love another person as much as I love you, Richard. I never imagined that I could feel such a deep and lasting connection to another person after all that I have been through in my life. Truth be told, I never imagined that anyone would love me.

My greatest regret in life is that I am not as submissive as you'd like me to be, nor as submissive as I'd like to be. I hate myself for holding back and being unable to give you the deepest level of submission that you desire and deserve. I want so badly to be the woman that you want me to be, to be the submissive that you want me to be.

I want to please you and bring pride and honor to you in all that I do. I never want to disappoint you, but then I find myself doing these stupid things that I know are going to disappoint you greatly (i.e drinking a whole bottle of wine and flirting). For the longest time I did not believe it when you said that I do these things to test your love for me, but now I know that it's true. I do these stupid and self-defeating things to prove to myself that no batter how bad I am, you are here for the long haul. On a deep subconscious level, I need that regular reassurance. and I fear that because I need that, these foolish actions will continue and what I fear even more is that one day they will drive you away.
That said, tonight I want to recommit myself to you, mind, body, heart and soul. I feel that I have not been putting my best submissive foot forward recently. I feel that I have been doing the bare minimum and that I need to do much better. I need to beg to suffer more often, I need to demonstrate my submission and devotion to you more regularly.
The most important thing that I need to do, is to be more supportive of your training of Faye and to do everything that I can to help you train her and to help her become the submissive woman that she wants to be. I have to put my jealousy and fears aside, and allow my submissive persona and heart to lead the way.
I also need to stop putting off your orders, even if it is not something that I really want to do, because what matters is not what I want, but what you want. I am YOUR slave, YOUR property, and I have willingly given myself to you to control and to Own.
I need to remember that while the task may seem trivial to me, it is what you want, and that is all that really matters.
with love and renewed devotion, Your Beauty 

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Forever Love

My Master has recently began to train a new submissive, and that submissive told him that she loved him, even though I know that he loves me and is devoted to me, I couldn't help but feel jealous and expressed that jealousy to him.

Below is his response to my jealousy, and it warmed my heart

Oh, Darling;, haven't I told you that I love you because you are you, that no one can steal my heart from you?. No one will ever be "first" again other than you. Haven't I proved faithful to you for almost 4 years?
Don't do this to yourself - trust me... have confidence in my commitment to you. Know that our love is special and sacred.
I need to know that I can tell you these things without you getting freaked out.
Rest easy in my love and devotion to you, Beauty
Your Devoted Master and Dedicated Owner, Richard

Morning Report

Below is a copy of my morning report to My Master for today.

Each day, I start the day by weighing myself and reporting that weight to my Master. Master expects that I will always weigh between 110 and 112. Currently, I am below the weight that my Master expects me to be, and he is not pleased. If I do not gain the weight back soon enough I know that I can expect to be punished daily until I reach my weight goal.

After weighing myself. I spend time in prayer. Generally thanking God for blessing me with such a loving, caring and amazing Master, not to mention domineering when he needs to be.

The next step in my morning ritual is to prepare myself. Master expects that I will always wear my nipple shields, Y chain and cunt chain on my jog as he has ordered, but I often spice it up and add hot cream coated ben wa balls and a vibrating anal egg, to make the jog more interesting and to encourage me to increase my timing. I usually jog between 3 and 4 miles per day.

My outward jogging outfit always consists of a t shirt, hot pants, hose, anklets and sneex unless it is very cold outside, and then Master may allow me to wear sweats, but his preference is hot pants so that I will attract attention and because he just likes to see me in hot pants.

Once I return home from my jog, Master expects that I will take a cold shower to wash off the sweat and cool my libido before starting on my morning rituals for my Master.

The first ritual that I perform each day for my Master is the homage ritual to bring honor and respect to my Master, and to spend time meditating on how to be the best slave possible for my Master. This ritual requires that I kneel with my knees spread wide, press my tits tightly to the tile, arch my back getting my ass high in the air and stretch my arms out in front of me. I am required to stay in this position for 15 to 20 minutes as I meditate on my submission.

After I complete this ritual, I move on to the kneeling meditation ritual. For this ritual, I remove my nipple shields, and attach the nipple stretcher to my nipples at a tightness of between 450 and 550 depending on how sore my nipples are from previous suffering for my Master. Once I have attached the NS to my nipples, I kneel in front of my full length mirror with my knees spread wide, holding my tits up for my Master's pleasure and inspection and my eyes averted. As I remain in this position, I meditate once more on my submission and on what I need to do that day to please my Master to the best of my abilities.

Once I have finished the kneeling meditation ritual, I crawl to my bed and lay down on it. I then tighten the NS by 50 to 100 turns before spreading my legs wide and holding my cunt lips open for my Master's viewing pleasure and to offer my cunt to him for his use. I practice begging aloud while in this position, and often envision my Master fucking me even if he doesn't.

After completion of this ritual, I remove the nipple stretcher and once again kneel in front of my mirror, this time with a toothbrush and a tube of hot cream. I begin by twisting, pinching and pulling my nipples to further sensitive after their stretching, I then brush my nipples with a tooth brush and hot cream for my Master's pleasure.

After completion of these tasks, I assume the kneeling meditation position and repeat the required phrases for ritual #2 which I will post in a later entry.

My morning routine ends by performing a ballet workout to keep my body flexible and toned for my Master.

Morning Report for 12/09/2012:

Good morning My Darling Master,
Your slave girl got up this morning and performed her normal morning toilet routine, your slave girl weighs 108 even this morning Master. Your slave girl then spent time in prayer Master.
Your slave then dressed in a one inch leather slave collar, Zoe, the y chain, a tight bra with nipple holes, a top, hot creamed bw balls and anal egg, a well lubed cunt chain, hot pants, hose, anklets and sneex. Your slave then went on a long, erotic 4 mile jog Master.
Your slave girl then returned home and took a cold shower before dressing in a two inch leather slave collar, Zoe, the cincher, hose and heels. Your slave girl coated all of her sensitive areas in hot cream, including her welts, and then placed a hot bp in her cunt and ass Master.
Your slave then proffered homage to you Master with knees spread wide, tits pressed tightly to the tile, back arched, ass high, arms stretched out in front of her Master. Your slave girl meditated on being serene and happy in your love for her Master for 30 minutes.
Your slave then attached the NS to her nipples at 550 and moved to the kneeling meditation ritual in front of her mirror Master. Your slave attached a pin to her tongue and pins to her cunt lips and clit as well Master, just to add to the submissive experience Master. Your slave meditated on always being the best slave possible for you My Darling Master.
Your slave then tightened the NS to 600 and moved to her bed to perform ritual #1 with legs spread wide and cunt lips pulled open for your pleasure using the pins on her cunt lips Master. While your slave girl would not enjoy performing this ritual every day with the pins in place it does add an extra erotic edge to the experience Master.
Your slave practiced begging aloud and envisioned you fucking her solely for your pleasure in said position Master.
Your slave girl then knelt in front of her mirror once more, removed the NS and pins and gave her nipples a harsh workout and scrubbed them with a tooth brush and hot cream Master. Your slave greatly enjoys performing this task for you Master.
Your slave then recited the phrases for ritual #2 Master while presenting her tits to you for your pleasure Master.
Your slave completed her morning routine with a difficult and gratifying ballet workout Master.
 
Your Beauty